


sana 'di magbago ang pagtingin

by slytherbyun



Series: pagtingin [1]
Category: EXO (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Inspired by Haikyuu!!, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, UAAP, Volleyball, atenean jeonghan, commitment issues, isko sehun, landian jeonghan and sehun, typical aries sehun, typical libra jeonghan
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28107354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherbyun/pseuds/slytherbyun
Summary: Sehun was willing to risk it all. Si Jeonghan kaya, handa na?
Relationships: Oh Sehun/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: pagtingin [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101359
Kudos: 21





	sana 'di magbago ang pagtingin

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was commissioned for #FicsForACause. You can check their [Twitter](https://twitter.com/FicsForACause) for more details!
> 
> DISCLAIMER:
> 
> This is a work of fiction. The author is not affiliated with any school, league, and institution mentioned in this story. Wish lang niya na matapos na ang pandemic para makabalik na ang volleyball action. :(
> 
> Also,  
> DTR = define the relationship

_ Service. Reception. Spiking. Setting. Blocking. Digging. _

These were the six main skills of volleyball that have been drilled into Sehun’s head since he was practically in elementary school. Alam niya na ‘to. A good play starts with a good receive. You have to know how to read your opponent in order to be able to block them, and spike the ball to that sweet spot.

Hindi naman talaga ginusto ni Sehun ang volleyball noong bata siya. He was actually training to be a basketball player. However, one fateful day, niyaya siya ni Johnny maglaro ng volleyball kasi kulang sila ng players. The moment he held that Mikasa ball in his hands, he knew he was meant to play this sport.

“Huy, Sehun! Focus!”

Narinig niya ang sigaw ng setter ng team na si Kyungsoo. Si Soo din ang nagsisilbing team captain nila ngayong season ng UAAP. Kasalukuyan silang nasa Filoil Flying V Arena sa San Juan, home of Philippine Volleyball, para sa laban ng UP (team ni Sehun) at ng DLSU (team ni Johnny). It’s a sea of maroon and green that surrounds them. Sa totoo lang, hindi sure si Sehun kung paano nagboom bigla ang Men’s Volleyball sa Pilipinas, dahil hindi naman sila tinatao sa umaga.

Nevertheless, he welcomes it.

They were now in the third set, 23-19, lamang ang UP, both in sets and the score. Dalawang puntos na lang, panalo na sila. Ramdam na sa side ng UP na malapit na ang tagumpay, kaya Sehun can feel the overall vibe in the court, pumping him up even more. Kita niyang nagsserve si Taeyong ng La Salle, na alam nilang hindi naman malakas na server. Panigurado, nakaposisyon na si Jihoon para i-receive ang bola.

And what a nice receive that was.

Tama lang ang pwesto ni Jihoon nang saluhin ang bola. Si Kyungsoo naman, humanda na pumwesto para bigyan siya ng A-Quick. Bumwelo na si Sehun, at humanda nang pumalo.

“Match point for UP!”

Sehun hit an off-the-block point, moving them to the deciding match point, improving their standing this season. With this win (if they win), they move up to 2-3, just in time for the famed “Battle of Katipunan”.

Also known as UP vs Ateneo, the powerhouse volleyball team in the UAAP.

“Galingan sa serve!” sigaw ni Jihoon (the libero) kay Kyungsoo. Ang nasa front line ay sina Sehun (the middle blocker), Jongin (opposite spiker), at si Seungkwan (playing open spiker), making this the tallest and the most lethal attack formation UP has. Just in time for the last point.

“Nice serve!”

Pasok ang serve ni Kyungsoo, which was not easily retrieved by La Salle’s receiver. Off ang formation, kaya binato na lang ni Johnny (setter) sa open spiker nila. Since predictable play siya, nakapwesto agad sina Jongin at Sehun para sa block.

And oh, what a kill block it was.

“UP wins!”

The crowd goes wild, and the bench goes straight to the court. Everyone was hugging each other, as this is their second win of the season. From being at the bottom of the standings to slowly winning, every game was cherished by the Fighting Maroons, and they treated each game like it was their last game on the court.

Pumosisyon na sa net ang magkalaban para batiin ang bawat isa para sa magandang larong ipinamalas. Nangunguna sa harap ang mga kapitan ng bawat koponan (Kyungsoo for UP, Taeyong for DLSU), followed by their respective squads. Nang umabot na ang magkatapat ay sina Sehun at Johnny, tinawid ni Sehun ang court para yakapin ang matalik na kaibigan.

“Halimaw ka, Oh!” natatawang sabi ni Johnny habang kayakap ang kaibigan.

“Nice sets, bro,” bati ni Sehun kay Johnny.

The two then parted ways to be with their teams to greet the audience. Sehun relished the feeling of victory as it rarely came his team’s way. Now though, with this promising line up, and everyone’s commitment, he knows this team will go far this season.

~•~•~•~•~

_ From: inspo :) _

_ Congrats on the game! Galing talaga ng blocker na ‘to. ;) _

_ Hindi kasing galing ko, pero pwede na :p _

_ Kita tayo mamaya? _

__

_ To: inspo :) _

_ Sure, cutie. ;) _

_ Condo mo? _

_ Alis ako after recovery meal. _

__

_ From: inspo :) _

_ See you then. :) _

__

The team celebrated their win at Shakey’s in Katipunan, kasi nagcrave si Junhui ng mojos. Bilang siya naman ang player of the game with 7 kill blocks and 12 attack points, pinagbigyan na siya ng team at ng coaches. Everyone was having fun, pero bakas din sa mga mukha ang pagod from the game. Sina Jihoon at Kyungsoo halatang papikit na, pero pinipilit nila magising para makakain pa at makachika. Sa dami nilang kinain, halatang antok na antok na ang lahat at gusto na lang matulog. Buti at Sunday ngayon, at walang training kinabukasan.

Nang sila ay idismiss na, at hinayaan na pumunta sa mga pupuntahan nila, Sehun immediately hailed a cab for Blue residences (kasi masakit na katawan niya at hindi niya na kaya maglakad). Instead of heading straight to his own floor, dumiretso muna siya sa 17 th floor, unit 1704, kung saan naghihintay ang kanyang semblance of a sanctuary.

“Nice game,” bati sa kanya ni Jeonghan nang siya ay pumasok ng condo.

Jeonghan Yoon. Ateneo de Manila University’s starting setter. Known to be one of the most prolific setters in the UAAP despite being a second year. Those magic hands can turn a broken play into the most lethal spike his attackers can utilize. He was the prized recruit of the Blue Eagles after the graduation of their best setter, and now he’s been proving himself to be one of the most talented setters in the UAAP, ranking second only to Kyungsoo.

“Thank you,” sabi ni Sehun, at nilapag ang game bag sa sofa. He then went to lie down on the bed for a bit, since nakapagshower naman na siya sa arena.

“Mamaw ng 4 blocks at 8 attack points ah,” sabi ni Jeonghan, na tinabihan siya sa kama. “Ganda ng sets ni Kuya Kyungsoo sa’yo.”

“Mas competitive lang ako kasi si Johnny kalaban,” sabi ni Sehun, sabay hiniga ang ulo sa lap ni Jeonghan. He felt Jeonghan play with his hair, running his fingers through the strands.

“Paano ‘yan, tayo magkalaban sa Sabado,” asar ni Jeonghan. “Mas competitive ka rin ba?”

Sehun looked at Jeonghan straight in the eyes. “Malamang, ayoko mapahiya sa’yo ‘no.”

“Ay, pa-impress siya,” asar pabalik ni Jeonghan. “Talo naman kayo agad samin.”

“Gago ka,” sabi ni Sehun, sabay higa sa kama.

“Sabihin mo na lang kasi na magpapaimpress ka sa’kin,” patuloy na inasar ni Jeonghan si Sehun habang kumukuha ng tubig mula sa ref.

Sehun can’t deny it--talaga namang magpapaimpress siya kay Jeonghan. Ilang buwan na silang naglalandian bago magsimula ang season, pero wala namang usad sa label itong dalawang ‘to. Nagbabakasakali si Sehun na after this season (or even during?) ay mas maging malinaw na ang relasyon nilang dalawa. Pero alam ni Sehun na hindi muna dapat kinukulit si Jeonghan on such matters.

“‘Di na kailangan, alam ko namang magaling ka,” mahinang bulong ni Jeonghan nang makabalik siya sa tabi ni Sehun.

_ Pathetic na kung pathetic pero tangina Jeonghan, pwede bang tayo na lang? _

“Wala, kailangan manalo,” sabi ni Sehun. “Ipapanalo namin para kay Soo.”

“Ipapanalo rin namin, para kina Kuya Baek at Kuya Chanyeol,” sagot ni Jeonghan, sticking his tongue out to tease the older guy.

Jeonghan is a breath of fresh air for Sehun. As someone na ayaw magcommit, Jeonghan is the one he’s closest to finally dropping the c-word for. Hindi rin niya alam kung bakit, pero Jeonghan was someone who, despite the instability of their relationship, he’s the comfort he seeks at the end of the long day. Na kahit sila pa magkalaban, whatever the outcome, okay lang. Si Jeonghan ang literal na araw, at si Sehun si Icarus, na kahit alam niyang mamamatay na siya, gagawin niya ang lahat para liparin ang layo sa pagitan nilang dalawa.

“Ang cute mo, alam mo ba ‘yon?” sabi ni Sehun bigla kay Jeonghan.

“Alam ko. Buti alam mo,” simpleng sabi ni Jeonghan, sabay halik sa pisngi ni Sehun.

Hinila na lang ni Sehun papahiga si Jeonghan sa kama bago pa sila magtalo. He knows how competitive both of them can get (an Aries and a Libra? It’s a war), and ayaw niya magkasiraan ng gabi. As Jeonghan crashed onto the bed, his arms wrapped around Sehun instantly, pulling him in for a kiss--one thing Sehun has already gotten used to after months of being with him.

Sehun might even say that Jeonghan’s kisses were sweeter than that winning point he scored today, but he won’t tell that to the little monster peppering him with kisses all over.  _ Baka yumabang. _

~•~•~•~•~

“Saan punta mo?” tanong ni Kyungsoo kay Sehun after ng training.

“Uwi na ng condo, may paper ako,” sabi ni Sehun. Ang goal lagi ng mga member ng varsity ay ang walang iiwanang acads bago ang game day. Ayaw nilang maging kilala bilang mga pabigat na kagrupo, in UP nonetheless. Mahalaga ang sports, pero mas mahalaga ang acads--na dapat ginagawa nang may dangal at husay.

“Yari, tapusin mo na. Wednesday na,” payo ni Kyungsoo habang inaayos ang mga gamit after training.

Nagpapaalam na ang ibang members ng team after ng training, at naiwan na lang sina Kyungsoo at Sehun sa gym, medyo tinatamad pang umalis.

“Kumusta kayo ni Jeonghan?” biglang tanong ni Kyungsoo sa binata.

Sehun never really knows how to answer any question that involves Jeonghan. Ano ba sila? Dating? Naglalandian? M.U.? Sehun has no idea kung ano nga ba talaga sila, and to be honest, he doesn’t want to ask.

“Kuya…” sinimulan ni Sehun, “Paano kayo nag-DTR ni Jongin?”

Nagulat si Kyungsoo, napatigil sa ginagawa niyang pag-aayos ng gamit. “Bakit mo natanong?”

Napakamot-ulo si Sehun. “Hindi ko rin alam, sa totoo lang, pero humor me na lang.”

Kyungsoo motioned for Sehun to sit beside him, pulling out chocolate milk from his bag. He took it, and gladly started drinking.

“Wala, nangyari lang siya,” sabi ni Kyungsoo. “Si Jongin kasi yung nag-initiate ng DTR namin. Hindi ko rin inexpect. Pero I liked him enough to commit. Turned out to be the best decision of my life.”

Inuubos ni Sehun yung chocolate milk, at tumingin sa captain. “Dapat ba akong umamin?”

Ngumiti lamang ang kapitan. “Ikaw, nasa sa’yo naman kung aamin ka. Alam mong dapat maging tapat ka sa mga nararamdaman mo para kay Jeonghan. You should know also that whatever the response should be, you’re ready to take it.”

“Ang daya, cap,” bulong ni Sehun.

“Sumugal ka eh,” ramdam ni Sehun ang awa mula sa boses ni Kyungsoo, knowing that Sehun doesn’t just wrestle with commitment for just anyone. “You wanted this. You risked your feelings, getting vulnerable, para kay Jeonghan. And wala ka talagang choice kundi lunukin ang kung ano man ang magiging sagot ni niya.”

Kyungsoo just hugged his junior, trying to make him feel better. “Basta ready ka na, umamin ka na. And you have to be ready for whatever the outcome is.”

~•~•~•~•~

Game day.

_ From: inspo :) _

_ Good luck. Durugin namin kayo mamaya. :) _

_ Kita tayo before the game? _

_ Kiss ko ah. Para may good luck ka. _

_ To: inspo :) _

_ After the game na lang. Warm-ups na kami. :) _

_ Sige, kiss kita. San mo gusto? ;) _

_ From: inspo :) _

_ Sahol ka, lips lang tayo ser, walang space for extracurricular activities ;) _

_ Okiii see you later xx _

_ Block mo ako ah :p tas dump ball ako pagkatapos para mairita ka ;) _

  
  


“Okay,” nagtake charge na si Kyungsoo sa huddle nila. “Powerhouse man ang Ateneo, napakagaling ng team natin. Magtiwala tayo sa sarili natin, at sa isa’t isa.”

“Kalimutan muna ang mga jowa sa kabilang team,” asar ni Jihoon, looking particularly at Sehun and Seungkwan. “Kayang-kaya natin matalo ang Ateneo!”

“UP!”

“Fight!”

Pumila na ang mga manlalaro para sa pagtawag ng first six of the game. Sa UAAP, ang pagtawag ay either according to number, or according to popularity.

“And now, it's time for the most awaited Battle of Katipunan. Let's meet the starters for the UP Fighting Maroons!”

Sehun was pumped, excited for the game to begin. Nakalinya na ang team, ready to get the game started.

“Starting off with number 01, Seungcheol Choi!”

Seungcheol starts high-fiving everyone, making his way to the court. The same happens to the rest of the team members that were called.

“Number 06, Seungkwan Boo!”

“Number 08, Junhui Wen!”

“Team Captain, number 12, Kyungsoo Doh!”

“Number 04, Sehun Oh!”

“And number 16, Jongin Kim!”

“Their libero is number 22, Jihoon Lee.”

Nasa court na si Sehun, at muli, nasasagap niya ang energy mula sa crowd. He can see the sea of maroon who came to support their team, and cheer for their school. No matter what, one of the biggest inspirations of the team is the UP Community, who never fail to cheer for them win or lose.

“And now, let’s meet the starters for the defending champions, the Ateneo de Manila Blue Eagles!”

Sehun was more aware of the game now. He’s more aware that the team that they’re up against are the defending champions. Mas sumisikip na ang dibdib niya, pero katulad ng sinabi nina Kyungsoo at Jihoon, basta’t magtiwala sila, kakayanin nila.

“Starting off with number 03, Joshua Hong!”

“Number 09, Mingyu Kim!”

“Number 06, Wonwoo Jeon!”

Kita ni Sehun from his peripheral ang excitement sa mukha ni Seungkwan; bihira lang sila maglaban, kaya mas may pride at stake dito para sa dalawang magjowa.

“Number 04, Baekhyun Byun!”

“Now we have number 02, Jeonghan Yoon!”

Nakatingin lang si Sehun kay Jeonghan na papunta ng court, seeing how he’s taking in also in the crowd’s hype, and the overall excitement of the game. Kitang-kita niya yung buhay sa mata ni Jeonghan nang tapatin na siya sa net nito, ngumisi pa para asarin siya.

“Team captain, number 11, Chanyeol Park!”

“And their libero, number 18, Minseok Kim!”

The two teams got into their formation in their rotations, and the game began.

~•~•~•~•~

_ 14-13, UP. _

Nasa fifth set na sila, neither team giving up on the game. Marami nang block points and attack points si Sehun, on form pa ang spikers nila. Problema talaga, Ateneo is also on its form. Sakit sa ulo mga diskarte ni Jeonghan, hilig pang magpa-quick attack kay Chanyeol. Syempre hindi magpapatalo mga decoy ng UP, freeing up Jongin and Seungkwan to attack.

Nararattle na ang team, at nararamdaman ni Sehun ‘yon. So close yet so far ang panalo. It’s a big morale booster if UP beats the defending champions, and it’s something that will definitely shake the league standings right now. If UP were the ones to do it, sobrang big deal nito going forward to the second round.

Isang puntos na lang.

Si Sehun na ang magseserve, meaning wala silang libero sa back row. Depensa pa naman kailangan na kailangan nila. Hindi sa mababa tingin niya sa sarili niya, but Sehun knows that his reception is UP’s weakest. Panigurado, siya ang itatarget ng spikers kung sakali. But he won’t let this faze him. Mas kinakabahan siya sa serve, kasi his serve isn’t the best either.

Sehun served the ball, just hoping that it’s in.

The ball barely catches the net, kinabahan lahat ng tao kung papasok ba ang bola.

The ball tipped over to Ateneo’s side. Pero hindi nahabol ng kabilang koponan.

Service ace. Sehun scored a service ace as the winning point of the match. They won. They beat the defending champions.

“Sehun!” niyakap siya ni Kyungsoo, nagpipigil ng luha niya. “Magpractice ka ng service mo, pakaba kang hayop ka!”

“Tatalon na dapat ako papasok ng court, animal ka!” sabi ni Jihoon, habang umiiyak na talaga.

“Tangina niyo alam niyo ‘yon,” sabi ni Sehun, habang kayakap ang mga teammate niya. Pati ang coaching staff, sumali na sa group hug.

Kakaiba ang pakiramdam na matalo ang defending champions, pero honestly, the game could’ve gone anyone’s way. It really depends on who can endure the long, winding game, and sometimes, it really depends on who wants it more. In this case, Sehun can confidently say that his team wanted it more.

Luminya na ang dalawang koponan para batiin ang isa’t isa para sa magandang laro na ipinamalas. Niyakap ni Chanyeol si Kyungsoo, bilang magkalapit silang kaibigan. Nang magkatapat na sina Wonwoo at Seungkwan, nagyakapan lang ang dalawa, much to the crowd’s excited reactions. Punong-puno ng “yie” ang arena, na ultimo mga coaches gumatong.

Malapit na si Jeonghan kay Sehun, at bago pa man makapagreact si Sehun, nagulat na lang siya.

Tinawid ni Jeonghan ang net, at niyakap si Sehun.

“Nice game!” sabi niya, kita ang ngiti sa mukha ni Jeonghan.

Ngumiti rin si Sehun kay Jeonghan, at pinuri rin ang laro niya. “‘Yang lintek na dump ball mo, hindi ko mahuli.”

Tumawa nang malakas si Jeonghan, sabay balik sa pila ng team niya. Binati na ng dalawang koponan ang mga manonood, pati na rin ang coaching staff ng kani-kanilang kalaban.

_ From: inspo :) _

_ Good game, ser. :) _

_ Kiss ko? _

_ To: inspo :) _

_ Meet me sa may dugout. Deserve ko ‘yang kiss na ‘yan. ;) _

  
  


~•~•~•~•~

  
  


May party ang isang common friend nina Sehun at Jeonghan, kaya nagdecide silang pumunta magkasama. Binati muna nila si Seokmin (ang may birthday), at nagmingle muna sa mga teammates nilang kaibigan din ni Seokmin. Andun ang magjowang Wonwoo at Seungkwan, pati na rin sina Baekhyun, Chanyeol, at Kyungsoo. Nakailang balik sina Sehun at Chanyeol sa buffet, panay balik sa roast beef na nakahain.

Pagkatapos ng dinner, ang unang hinanap ni Sehun ay si Jeonghan. Nakita niya ito sa may gilid sa labas. Mag-isang nagcecellphone. Kahit social butterfly si Jeonghan, hindi talaga siya mahilig sa parties. Libra man si Jeonghan, alam ni Sehun na kapag drained ang social battery ni Jeonghan, wala silang mapapala sa kanya.

“Kanina mo pa ba ako hinahanap?” tanong ng mas bata.

“Oo,” sabi ni Sehun. “Katatapos ko lang kumain.”

Ngumisi si Jeonghan. “Sana nagsabay na lang pala tayo lumabas. Baka mas mabilis ako magrecharge.”

Siguro kung may salamin lang, makikita na ng sambayanan kung gaano kapula ang mukha ni Sehun.  _ Smooth mo, tangina. _

  
  


“Han,” sabi ni Sehun.

  
  


This is it. This is really really is it is it. Aamin na siya. Aamin na siyang nafall na siya. Ibang level ng kaba ang kanyang nararamdaman, tipong  _ his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.  _ Oo, lyrics ito, pero ganito nararamdaman ni Sehun ngayon.

“Yep?” tanong niya.

“May sasabihin ako,” sabi ni Sehun.

“Shoot!” sabi ni Jeonghan, pero biglang umatras. “Kiss ko muna.”

“Punyeta,” natawa si Sehun sa hirit ni Jeonghan. “Papahirapan mo talaga ako, 'no?”

“I live to make your life a living hell,” sumang-ayon si Jeonghan. “So kiss ko, asan na?”

To appease the kiss monster, Sehun leaned forward and gave Jeonghan a chaste kiss before anyone could see them. When he pulled away, nakangiti lang si Jeonghan.

“Thank you,” sabi niya, proceeding to stand beside Sehun. “So ano sasabihin mo?”

_ Here goes. Wala nang atrasan, Oh. Andito na ang set-up, ikaw na lang papalo. _

“Jeonghan, I like you.”

Natulala lang si Jeonghan, looking surprised at Sehun’s sudden confession. At that point, Sehun was sure he screwed up. Yup. He definitely screwed everything up.

“Sehun--”

  
  


“You don’t have to give me an answer right away,” sabi ni Sehun. “Just let me know when you’re ready to talk.”

There was this awkward silence between them, and Sehun didn’t know how to fix it. Alam niya namang wala nang atrasan, wala nang balikan sa kung nasaan man sila kanina. He wanted to take it back, but at the same time, he wanted to move forward. He wanted to finally commit, kahit sukang-suka siya sa punyetang c-word na ‘yan.

He knew Jeonghan was worth committing to. Hindi lang siya sure if Jeonghan felt the same way.

“Se, uwi na tayo.”

Tumungo lamang si Sehun, at nagsend ng text sa mga kaibigan, at nagpaalam na. Iniwan siya ni Jeonghan para magpaalam personally kay Seokmin, at para magpasalamat sa handa. When Jeonghan got back into the car, he didn’t say anything anymore. When he parked the car sa basement ng condo, agad-agad umalis si Jeonghan at dumiretso sa elevators, not bothering to wait for Sehun.

He knew he fucked shit up before things could even begin.

  
  
  


~•~•~•~•~

“Mukha kang pagod sa training ah?”

“You didn’t need to come all the way here.”

After two weeks of avoiding Sehun, Jeonghan made the trip to UP Diliman pagkatapos malaman mula kay Seungcheol kung ano ang disposisyon ni Sehun. Even though Seungcheol and Sehun were teammates, Jeonghan, Joshua, and Seungcheol have been best friends since high school. Nung hiningi ni Jeonghan ang tulong ni Seungcheol na iwasan si Sehun, sinasabi ni Seungcheol kung saan pupunta si Sehun, kaya iniiwasan niya talaga ang UPTC, or even specific areas of Katipunan. Kung lalabas man siya, laging kasama sina Joshua at Wonwoo para hindi siya lapitan ni Sehun.

“Nice game against NU and Adamson, by the way. Player of the game pa. Bigatin,” bati ni Jeonghan sa kausap.

“Ikaw din. Ganda ng sets mo, as usual,” Sehun said without looking at him.

Hindi mapakali si Jeonghan, at kinalabit si Sehun para tignan siya.

“Why are you here, Jeonghan?” Sehun finally asked the question that’s been hanging in the air.

“I owe you an answer, diba?”

Umupo si Jeonghan sa kanilang bench sa tapat ng UP College of Law. This was where Sehun first asked Jeonghan out. Ganito rin ang eksena--puno ng mga bituin ang langit na walang bahid ng ulap. It feels painfully coincidental, but painful nonetheless.

“Parang ayoko na marinig,” sabi ni Sehun. “Alam ko naman pinasok ko. Usapan natin walang malalaglag, pero tangina nahulog ako.”

“Se.”

Hindi siya tinignan ni Sehun, nakatuon ang pansin sa mga bituin sa langit. Jeonghan understood, and didn’t want to rush him. He, too, looked at the sky, marveling at the beauty of the stars that were shining brightly.

It was silent for a good few minutes before he saw Sehun sit straight up, and face him.

“Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan didn’t want to, but he cried anyway.

Feelings were something Jeonghan was never good at dealing with. Puro siya landi, puro siya fling, puro siya harot. He wanted the excitement and the chase. Pagdating sa usapang feelings, ayaw niya na. Kadalasan, he can leave the set-up easily, na walang bahid ng iyak o pagsisisi (kasi usually igoghost lang niya).

In this case, hindi niya kaya umalis. Tangina, he should have ended things before he fell also.

Oo, he caught feelings for Sehun, but he was too overwhelmed to make sense of them. He was never the relationship type of person, and the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Sehun. Hindi siya ready for commitment kahit gustuhin man niya. This meant that he had to leave. He can’t stay, he’d hurt Sehun more than he’s already doing now.

“Se, I’m sorry,” sabi ni Jeonghan sa gitna ng mga hikbing lumalabas. “Hindi ko kaya.”

Sehun merely nodded, and resumed looking at the sky. Jeonghan knew he was letting him get rid of the emotions he rarely showed, so he kept crying some more.

“I understand,” sabi ni Sehun. “Can we still be friends?”

Jeonghan had to contemplate before answering the question. Oo, he wants to be friends with Sehun, but at the same time, it might be too painful for the older. Hindi niya alam if tama bang maging magkaibigan sila.

“Not now siguro?” Jeonghan attempted at a smile. “Considerate ako sa feelings mo oh, matuwa ka naman.”

He did hear Sehun muster a laugh beside him. “Okay, not now. Pero when you’re ready, let me know?”

“Oo, when the day comes,” bulong ni Jeonghan.

“When you’re ready to commit also,” dagdag ni Sehun. “I’ll be waiting.”

“Se--”

“Sinasabi ko lang,” ngumiti si Sehun. “Ewan ko kung sinasaktan ko pa rin sarili ko, pero there’s no getting over you that easily, Yoon.”

To that, Jeonghan bursted into laughter. “Ako pa ba? Iba ata ang Jeonghan Yoon.”

“Iba talaga.”

Jeonghan knew it was time for him to leave, kasi 7:40 na at may exam pa siya bukas ng umaga. “Sabay ka na sakin pabalik ng Blue?”

“Hindi na,” sabi ni Sehun. “Dala ko kotse ko. Kaya ko na sarili ko.”

“Okay,” Jeonghan stood up from the bench, giving Sehun one last look before he walked away. Once he reached his car, he immediately got his phone, and shot the last text he’ll ever send to Sehun before moving forward.

_ To: the only one ever _

_ See you soon, Se. Ingat ka pauwi. _

**Author's Note:**

> Sigawan niyo ako sa [twitter!](https://twitter.com/justljhthings)


End file.
